Open Spaces vs. Man Rooms
There are two trends I have noticed while watching programs like House Hunters on HGTV. First, the commonality of home buyers seeking wide open spaces. They want kitchens that open to family rooms, large area spaces that incorporate multiple functions (living, dining, et cetera), and as few walls as possible. Second, men report wanting their own spaces, known in the common vernacular as a “man room” or “man cave.” Such a room should include technology and comfortable furniture; its primary reported function is entertainment, secondarily (though unstated) for escape.
These two trends seem both counter and complimentary. Were houses constructed with many divisions and separate rooms, perhaps there would be less desire for men to have their own private space. Think of older houses that you may have been in. I’ll use the house I grew up in, built in the 1950s or earlier. On the first floor, we had both a living room and a den. If a person wanted to watch television, he went to the den. Thus, if a person wanted to read, he could ensure peace and quiet (relative) in the living room. In the wide open spaces sought by home buyers today, this is not possible.
In reality, everyone needs a room of one’s own, a place for solace. More walls and increased floor division solve half this problem. In a house with more separate rooms, it is easy for individuals to get away from each other (in the best sense). In my grandparent’s house, for example, the kitchen is connected to a hallway and to the dining room. Thus, with its friendly stool by the stove, it makes a great place to read while preparing food. Their television is in the den, off the living room, the perfect place to watch television quietly. It’s easy to find a place to be alone.
The other half of the problem expressed in the home buyers’ desires is the cultural stereotype of woman as homemaker. Men seem to perceive (whether accurately or not) that their partners will take full control over house decoration and will decorate in such a way that the men feel their own tastes or styles are not represented. If this perception is truly leading male home buyers to seek their own private spaces, even in the face of clear choices against those spaces as part of common living space, then something needs to change. Either men need to give up whatever is revolting to the women decorators (beer signs, sports posters, pin-up girls) or women need to recognize that their own style cannot dominate the entire house.
Of course, it may simply be that House Hunters is a biased program. Or it may be that women do take into account men’s perspectives in decorating but men refuse to grow up and abandon their college ways. It might also be biased media that cultivates perceptions of differences between the sexes. But whatever it is, if “man rooms” are the result of wide-open houses, then the best thing to do is return to sane home design. Expecting all family members to live and thrive in one giant space is ridiculous. Each home should have enough unique, public spaces, that a family can choose to be together or apart without requiring everyone to retreat behind closed doors. A “man room” does not help to create family unity, no matter who does the decorating.
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