Michael Braun's Blog

Here’s a poem I wrote a couple of weeks ago. It’s again in that haiku style, each stanza a separate haiku. I don’t know why I find that style appealing, but it sure beats some of the styles of poems in the New Yorker. I will give a mocking example, though for some reason, the large amount of spaces I have put between key words does not seem to be showing up. Imagine the poem with large spaces in odd places.

A Stupid Poem like those in the New Yorker
Written May 29, 2007

When I
write for some

reason, I

cannot keep
my thoughts
in a straight

line or work
with complete

sentences.

Anyway, that is a bad poem; here is a perhaps decent one.

Democrazy
Written May 10, 2007

A benchmark response:
Stoppards against victory,
defeat guarantors.

The people’s reply:
Headstrong president safeguard,
checks and balances.

An Iraqi’s view:
Deathsquad drivebys, brutal costs,
foreign invaders.

First, let it be known that I have not read the book mentioned in this title. Rather, I heard about it and heard the author speak on one of my least favorite public radio programs – To The Best Of Our Knowledge. I dislike it partly because it is a locally produced program that never seems to offer real insight into anything and also because the show’s title makes it seem that I could host a program that’s just as good. I would call it As Far As I Know.

Anyway, Mr. McKibben reveals some stunning information in this book – more stuff does not equal more happiness! When I heard him make this revelation, I was shocked. Why is a program distributed by Public Radio International wasting time on this guy? Everyone with any education already knows this fact. In fact, if you are still under the delusion that owning more stuff makes you happy, then maybe you are one of those people for whom material wealth is all that is required to be happy. Cheers for you! For the rest of us, we figured it out a long time ago. Remember being a kid and spending your money on something that didn’t live up to your expectations? Remember how the disappointment of learning that a certain toy wasn’t as cool as you thought was so much greater than the happiness of buying the toy and taking it home?

Mr. McKibben went on to state that American happiness peaked in 1956 and has steadily declined since then. The host took him to task, stating that this may come from many other factors. Mr. McKibben countered him by stating that our consumption has gone up! This dialogue made me believe that Mr. McKibben’s logical skills may not be quite up to snuff. He seemed unwilling to break from his premise that more consumption was making us less happy, but similarly, seemed not to realize that this idea is nothing new.

To be fair to Mr. McKibben, his book does a lot of good in addressing ways to live while consuming less, societies where they seems to be working it without massive consumerism, and addresses both the economic and ecological impact of such living. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to dig deeper into the information he presented.

Assuming my premise is correct (that people already know buying more stuff won’t truly make them happier, and that may be an incorrect assumption), we’ve got to think a little bit more about why American happiness has gone down. Presumably, it is because something else has risen or fallen along with the happiness. I would propose that, while happiness has fallen, consumption has risen. And while consumption has risen, the amount of things to consume has also risen. And while that rises, so does the amount of information we are bombarded with. Breaking it down, because consumerism is so high, Mr. McKibben’s book can be published. So too can shows like To The Best Of Our Knowledge exist. And thus, we are constantly reminded that our consumption is actually NOT making us happy, and that it in fact does affect the world in some very real, and very negative, ways.

So when I buy a new computer (as I did just a week ago), I got to see where it came from. Seeing it come from China got me thinking about the world economy. Thinking about that made me realize that buying a computer that came from China meant that, while I paid less, it was one less person in the US making a good wage and contributing to our economy. Suddenly, the happiness that comes from my new computer is partially lessened by the fact that I am, in a small part, contributing to globalization, a force that I consider to be, at least in part, bad.

The other thing that happens with this rise in information is that we start to understand the affect of US foreign policy on the rest of the world. Let’s think about post WWII America. We were the kings! We just took on a huge enemy and walked away the victors. The nation had pulled together and liberated the world from tyranny. Our boys were back and the economy was at a fevered pace. But then something happened – the Cold War. So even though we were so great and strong, there was another nation who could wipe us all out – a force that could destroy the entire planet. We had fallout shelters, bomb drills, and a real enemy staring us down the barrel of a huge nuclear gun. Suddenly, some of our arrogance as Americans didn’t seem so cool. And now, I see on the news everyday the price of our poor foreign policy. We’ve got wars going on in other countries, terrorists trying to kill civilians, and an idiot in the White House. I’m happy with my life, but I sure ain’t dancing in the streets.

So maybe Mr. McKibben does deal with all this information in his book. I would encourage you all to read it and let me know. But based on the interview I heard, I don’t think he’s offering any thing we haven’t heard before. And I don’t think that he’s really thinking too carefully about what all is going on in the heads of Americans. We may consume more than any other country on earth, but we sure aren’t blind about it.

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan, famed child star turned decent actress, was arrested for suspician of DUI following the wreck of her car in an early morning accident. Oh well, and boo hoo, right? But this girl has been in rehab, attending AA meetings, and under enough media scrutiny to know better. Even worse, police say that they found cocaine in her car. She seems determined to follow in the footsteps of Paris Hilton and a million other idiot celebrities.

But what is she supposed to do? Stop living her life? Let me tell you what I would do, if I were her. First, I would recognize that making stupid decisions like she does could seriously hurt my career. And even though I’m rich, I want to be richer, so I better do something. Then, I would hire someone to keep me safe. We’re not talking a body-guard here; we’re talking a “you’re an idiot” screamer. I would want someone to follow me around and slap me upside the head every time I was about to make a stupid decision.

The job wouldn’t be too difficult, and I suspect I could find someone who would do it. Say I’ve just spent a whole night partying and am ready to go home. I’m about to get in my car to drive, drunk of course. The screamer can step up behind me and yell, “what the fuck are you thinking?”, then physically stop me from getting in the car. I guess “nanny” might be a more appropriate term.

Now, Lohan isn’t known for having the best parents, so maybe they aren’t able to step in and advise her like normal parents would. But there are certainly other celebrities who could use similar services, and who have parents with the wealth and (hopefully) brains to get their son or daughter something like this. I’m thinking of the Hiltons. And probably the Simpsons too (Jessica and Ashley). Erg, stupid people! Is common sense in such short supply these days?

Ever since they introduced those dumb newsfeeds, facebook is pretty stupid. Now, I did end my boycott back in January. I put some of my information back up, started accessing the site more often, but I still think it’s stupid. A month ago or so, I removed some friends, made my profile private, as a way of having a place to write things that was only accessible to those who should see it (and not the prying eyes of bitch-ass snitches – you know who you are). So that’s been nice.

Now facebook has introduced that ability for third-party companies to write software to be installed on your profile, similar to something like iGoogle (and probably other places). It has the potential to be cool, but I get annoyed by one thing. Facebook keeps offering new services, but not truly giving more options. Now I can make my page more cluttered, but that is nothing I can do to make it less so. I can’t get rid of my newsfeed. I can’t truly restrict what I share with other people. And I can’t make it the service it once was.

I’ll stick with it, I suppose, as it serves the purpose of helping me keep up with people who I don’t actually see or talk to very often (if at all). And that’s nice, but I really wish that Mark Zuckerburg (or whatever his name is) would think about truly giving users more options. Some of us like a striped down product.

In other news, Google is now sharing “trends” in searching. It’s a very nice idea and interesting to look at. The only problem is that the trends themselves seem awful random and strange. Just today, we have a lot of searches for the results of a UFC fight. That seems to me to be a true trend, as the entries appear multiple times. But number 6 on the list is “gaukhar rakhmetalieva.” Huh? I think it may be pretty easy to get a listing up on the trends page. On Friday, number 8 was “capital of south australia.” Why in the world would that be there? Anyway, weird stuff. So check it out – http://www.google.com/trends .

Yah, so my computer is pretty much all set. I’ve got my music on it, pictures, files, everything. There’s more to do (there always is) including setting up a couple other email accounts and clearing off a couple of external hard drives I have, but whatever. That will all get done.

There are a couple of sweet features that I haven’t yet had the option to try out fully. 1 – my built-in iSight camera! That means I can have video chats with people! Wow! Of course, I haven’t yet had a chance to try that out. Brittany has had too slow connections to make it work (and she’s also in Sweden). And my sister, Katie, was having trouble logging into AIM, so that didn’t work either. But it will happen! One of these days, I’ll be able to find out if a video chat is possible.

2 – Bluetooth!! I have been able to integrate with my phone and take off some photos from it. But it will also now be easy to move photos onto my phone, which is great! Overall, I’m very excited about that feature. There are also probably some other things that I can use it for (though I haven’t found them yet). Pretty neato!

In other news, John Stewart is interviewing an Air Force pilot who flies in airshows. WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is he pandering to the armed forces? Weird.

It’s exhausting getting a new computer. My MacBook arrived today, all the way from Shanghai, China! I went to pick it up after… the place I go to make money and spend my time since I am no longer a student. I unpacked it as soon as I got home and immediately began the process of moving data onto it. There must be an easier way than using networking and an external hard drive. Apple does extend the option to use a firewire cable to move data, but I don’t have a six pin to six pin cable (actually, I think I do), but anyway.

I first moved that which I would be most upset to lose – all my various documents, including word processing. Then I moved some applications, then some more crap, then I don’t even remember. All I know is that between Lauren being here and trying to get photos to come over, it’s almost 11 and I haven’t gotten any music onto this thing. That will be a project for tomorrow.

So far, the machine is a beauty. I like the keyboard a lot, though I was skeptical at first. It seems quite easy to use. And the lettering on the keys is not yet warn off like it is on my iBook (only for some of the keys). The widescreen display looks great. I’ve now got a lot of real estate I don’t know what to do with. And the 200 gig hard drive isn’t too shabby either. 142 gigs left! A little better than the 2 I had on my iBook.

Anyway, this will be a continued adventure. I’ve got some more programs to install, some more customization to do, and some more testing to try. For example, can my computer now truly send files to my bluetooth enabled mobile phone? Will video chat really work between here and Sweden (where Brittany is)? I can’t wait to find out!

Someone called Lauren tonight, asking her to go out for a drink. He should know better. She’s never given him any indication that she would be interested in him. She made it clear on the phone that she was not available to hang out with him, and I think the situation should be all good. Nevertheless, in case this gentleman reads this blog – here’s some words of further encouragement. Do not bother her again.

You call up my girl, asking her to go out,
Ain’t you check the status on her facebook account?
Yah, I know that sounds nerdy, not classic,
but you more a geek than Steve Urkel on acid.
What, did you think you had a chance with her?
Took a risk, now I’m asking you for an answer.
In this case, your risk is sharp like a razor.
It’s gon be like the second time of Ali and Frazier,
except you knocked out in the second round,
not first, ’cause I let you just play around.
See I float like a butterfly, then I just stabbin’.
You’ll get no help from your dungeons and dragons.
Get your twisted little face and your baked bean grill
out of my face before I give you a thrill –
The chance to get punched out by little skinny me.
You’ll be the first I ever destroy mercilessly.

If you reading this, son, test me. I’m a good student.

Here’s a problem I’d like to have more often (assuming the bank lets me keep the money):

Check out that entry on May 15 – 3617.80$! The bank is currently looking into where the money came from. I think it may be a gift from Jesus.

I saw a bumper sticker today that got me to thinking. The bumper sticker read, “God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.” Quite clever, I thought. But I wanted to go to that person and say to them – so you think you are one of the former, not one of the latter, huh?

Here’s how I imagine the conversation continuing from there:
Person: Yah, I am definitely not a religious whackjob.
Me: Do you think that their perception of god is skewed, as they think what they are doing actively represents how god wants them to behave?
P: Yah, they are definitely not worshipping and acting in a way that god would want them to.
M: So you yourself have a better understanding of what god wants than they do.
P: Umm… yah, I guess.
M: How have you arrived at this greater understanding?
P: Well, I definitely read the bible, and I pray.
M: So do they.
P: Yah, but they aren’t reading it the right way.
M: So let’s say we pit you against them, both with bibles in hand. Do you think you could find proof in the bible for your beliefs?
P: Yah, definitely. More than they could.
M: So in a battle of logic, based on the bible, you would win?
P: Absolutely, though I don’t know if they would buy it.
M: But isn’t this all about faith – you have faith your way is right and they have faith that their way is right?
P: Yah, so?
M: Well, logic and faith, unfortunately, don’t go together. You can’t defeat faith with logic, as faith is essentially reason without logic.

And there ends the conversation. I highly doubt I would be able to lead them down this road, as we would be sidetracked in the conversation by their beliefs that religious people are destroying the world. I agree, but I don’t agree that the answer is spirituality. If anything, if everyone was allowed to find a spiritual guide, without the mitigating forces of church leadership, there would be a lot more crazy people running around.

Speaking of bumper stickers, you know what one I really like? It reads, “Against gay marriage? Then don’t get one and shut the fuck up.” I think that pretty much sums up my postion on the issue.

For some reason, I had gotten very excited about this band the Horrors. I read about them when reading about the Fratellis, a band whose album I bought a few weeks ago. The two bands had toured together. The Horrors sounds like such an interesting name for a band. Their EP was available on the iTunes Music Store, but not their full-length album, which has been released in the UK in early March. But finally, I read online that the album was to be released in the US yesterday! I planned to purchase it from the iTunes Music Store, but for some reason, they did not have it. Annoyed, I instead went to Best Buy after work and bought it! Yahoo!

It’s gotten quite varied reviews. The Guardian gave it 5 of 5 stars, quite the praise! Rolling Stone gave it 2.5 of 5 stars, quite a criticism. Now, knowing that the Guardian may be raving because of the England connection. And knowing that Rolling Stone employs no reviewers who I ever agree with, I figured the album was at least good. And I was right! It is good – very much English Punk, more than any other band I’ve heard in a while. But it’s also dark, and fun too. I’m really excited to listen to the album more today. I’ve only heard it one and a half times thru.

In other news, I bought a new computer! Apple upgraded the processor speed on their MacBook line, making me think that they weren’t going to go with the new Intel line for a while longer. For that reason, along with my current computer (iBook) getting tired, it was time to buy anew. I debated about the black, but, after ordering with a larger hard drive (200 gb!), the price difference was $125, which I didn’t consider worth it just for black. Plus, I love having a white computer now, so it will be good to keep that going. It should arrive in a few days, and I couldn’t be more excited!

This story is old and no doubt you well educated readers have already grown tired of this story. But I have not! Paris Hilton has been sentenced to jail! 45 days to be exact for driving with a suspended license (suspended after she was caught driving while intoxicated… oops!). Now there’s been much talk of an appeal, even of a pardon by the governator! In general, I am against these ideas, unless of course her prison experience could make things even worse.

What if, after leaving jail, Paris Hilton becomes even more unbearable? Imagine a book deal, an advocacy campaign against drunk driving, some charity events – all based on the lessons she learned while doing hard time. Suddenly, someone only famous for being rich and partying a lot will actually have a reason to live – awful! She’ll be making tours of talk shows; Oprah will have her on to talk about the state of today’s prisons; the View will have Paris replace Rosie. Yuck!

Now, this is all assuming an awful lot, like the fact that Paris Hilton is actually capable of intelligent thought. But I’m willing to make the assumption. I think Arnold needs to put together a commitee on the issue. If it’s possible Paris will get even more irritating, he must pardon her! We cannot stand to have a maniac reformed Paris on the loose.

In other news, Lauren suggested we bake cookies yesterday. We did, and they are delicious. Chocolate Chip! Due to w.o.r.k. committments, I was unable to do a whole lot over the weekend, as I was holding down the fort, so to speak, but that didn’t mean we were unable to do things. On Friday, we had dinner downtown and enjoyed some warm beverages. Saturday, my mother was in town so we had dinner over at my grandparents house, where Lauren showed off her impressive Scrabble skills by destroying everyone else playing. Sunday, a little shopping, a little cooking, and a little relaxing. That’s what I call a weekend!

Not much else going on. I signed a lease for my new apartment. I’ll be able to pick up the keys June 15, and I can’t wait! I’ve got to put together some plans for moving, and that is enough to make me nervous and excited at the same time. But that’s it! I’ll write more about things that actually matter later.

In this case, the title of the post is completly literal. As a few of you readers may recall, a while ago I made a radio drama. I completely ad-libbed it, and made it using iMovie. Thus it’s only available as a .mov file. I had such a fun time making it, doing all the voices, adding in the sound effects, it was a blast! And now, as I am lately feeling some drive to do something creative, I think a new radio drama may be perfect.

A couple of years ago, I bought a book titled “Radio Plays for Children”. So I looked thru that, thinking I might find some inspiration, but unfortunately, not anything that blew me away. So I was then thinking about an idea I had for a television show back in high school. A boy in high school whose parents are dogs! Now, that’s just about the worst idea ever, but it could make for an exciting radio drama.

Anyway, so I haven’t written anything yet, but I’ve got an idea for a script that could really work out. We’ll have to see. If I end up making any progress on it, I’ll keep you all updated!

Hmm… seems to be no defenders of the Daily Show. I at least expected John Stewart, or one of his intern lackeys to try and refute my points. But no! Those cowards, refusing to face up to my truth. I’ll crush each and everyone of them! Oh golly.

Anyway, I realized that I had a great weekend and I thought I might update you all on my amazing weekend! Okay, it was actually a pretty tame weekend, but overall, much fun was had by all.

Friday was a day to relax. I don’t think Lauren and I did much more than watch a movie (Match Point). But nevertheless, it was very relaxing and just what I needed when ending the weekend.

Saturday, with Lauren out of town, I went to see an apartment (as described in previous post), which I liked a lot about. There were a few things I did not like, but overall the positives out-weighed the negatives and today I filled out the application and such. I’m excited for a new place! It was also the Mifflin Street Block party. I’d never been before, but as Woodie and Dan live on Mifflin, I figured I better make an appearance. Overall, it was pretty fun, though I spent more time inside Dan and Woodie’s place rather than out on the street. I also briefly met up with Steph and Amos. Saturday night, Lauren back in town, we went and got some coffee down on State Street. A very pleasant cap to the day.

Sunday, Lauren and I headed to Devil’s Lake State Park. On the way there, we took the Merrimac Ferry across the Wisconsin River, a very fun way to go. Once at the park, we hiked straight up the bluff and along the ridge, taking in the sights of beautiful Southwest Wisconsin. We came down from the bluff and walked back to the car along some railroad tracks. That evening, we cooked some food – pasta with melted brie, halved grape tomatoes, and fresh basil. It was really, really delicious! The brie made for an amazing cream sauce. I’m sure it was wildly unhealthy, but quick, easy, and something I would definitely make again.

And now it’s already Tuesday, in May. The weather is beautiful! And the week is nothing but a shining star; the future, a glowing super-nova. Yahoo!

How much more conservative will the Daily Show turn? Once a bastion of liberal reporting, full of humor directed at the right. Not anymore. Whether under the leadership of John Stewart, notable for his love of John McCain (until McCain went and smoke at Bob Jones University). He’s one of these guys who seems liberal until you start to see those subjects that he chooses to make fun of.

A while back, they had a segment on a guy who was fighting to stop a town from playing Christian songs from their bell tower. The report they aired made fun of this individual, mocking his desire to free his life from religion. For a show that specializes in being able to express viewpoints not shown by the mainstream media, they flopped, showing a segment that might as well have been on Fox News.

And now, just recently, a segment that prompted me to write this post, a story on the segment of the African-American community who has been singled out for their mistrust of the police. Oftentimes, this mistrust turns more severe; you will hear this expressed as an “anti-snitching” mantra, an active desire to subvert police investigations by not airing knowledge of a crime. This view was most recently brought to light by the Hip-Hop artist Cam’ron on the television program 60 Minutes.

Leading the discussion with John was recent addition to the show, Larry Wilmore, pegged the “Senior Black Correspondent.” But rather than turn the conversation into humor about the racist forces that drive said communities towards a mistrust of the police, the conversation ended up being a mockery of the way that Cam’ron talks. I’m sorry, but Ebonics (or more recently known as African-American English) is a completely viable form of communication, and should not be a source of humor. If Cam’ron happens to make his “th” sound more like an “f”, this is not humor. So, when he says “ethics” and someone happens to hear that as “effics”, I don’t see why I should laugh when they point this out.

What it ends up being is subtle racism. It implies that there is no more important issue in believing helping the police is a betrayal to a community. Instead, Cam’ron is singled out as some sort of bizarre person, who not only is actively hurting America, but also misleading America’s youth (as shown by a young Black boy expressing his view of what it means to be real on the street, expressing a lot of factors actively supported by Hip-Hop music). When you think about it more, it goes from being subtle racism, to all out hate.

Further evidence that the show is taking more of a conservative slant. A feature on Hilary Clinton appearing on an entertainment show. She appears in the clips they show discussing things like clothes, shoes, and diets. What do you know? She is interested in other things that women are interested in. The worst part is that they mocked her for appearing on a show that also reported news about Brittany Spears. Well, fuck you, Daily Show, because the same criticisms have been levied against you. Recall the Crossfire debate, John Stewart?

Even more evidence, they’re now stealing jokes from Stephen Colbert, who is 100% more liberal and smart than John Stewart has ever been. The joke: the problem with the timetables the Democrats are trying to set for the Iraq war is that they are called timetables; they should be called freedom tables (et cetera, et cetera). C’mon, John Stewart – you suck! Can’t you get writers to do anything original anymore?

Anyway, it’s so unfortunately that the Daily Show is on before the Colbert Report. Bad because I often end up watching it if I plan to watch the Colbert Report. Bad because the Colbert Report always outshines the Daily Show. And bad because we all have to be exposed to the increasingly conservative commentary of John Stewart and crew.

Usually, I don’t like to write a post containing just a link to someone else’s work. After all, what’s the point of a blog if it’s not simply a forum for one person’s opinion to be broadcast to the world?

But, I read this article in the Daily Cardinal today, and thought its author offered some nice reminders of how terrible Bush really is.

You can read it here.