Missing Fall Weather
Often times, in the course of human events, when one person is attempting to use superficial questions to get to know someone deeply, the question of a favorite season comes up. This question can seem to be very telling about a person. For example, a person who says summer must like warm weather and being outside. But it also seems to say that the person is carefree, and probably not a hardworker. There are other ridiculous inferences one can make from various answers.
If I had to give my answer, however, I would say that I most love the changing of seasons. And the changing of summer to fall has got to be my favorite. I’ve grown to respect all seasons, but as the weather starts to get colder, as the leaves change and fall, that’s my favorite time of year. I crave the first day when you can step outside and say that it’s brisk. I like having to wear long pants and heavier coats. I like having to duck my head to avoid a biting gust of wind, filled with swirling leaves.
But I’ve missed most of that season change due to something completely unique in my life. With the advent of my new job, I no longer have to walk somewhere outside everyday. The most time that I spend outside everyday is walking from my apartment to my car in the morning and back again at the end of the day. And since my work has underground parking, I don’t even get to enjoy those few extra moments walking from car to work and back. No longer do I get to walk to class and home again, something I have done since I was in first grade.
What is especially interesting about missing this is I also seem to correlate this kind of walk with studying hard and a sense of duty. I think the fondest memories I have of college involve going to a library and staying there for hours, studying. Indeed, it’s hard for me to think of a Sunday morning where I have felt better than those I got up early, packed my books, got some coffee and sat in a library until afternoon. That kind of hardwork and productivity makes you feel good to come home. It’s all about the feeling of needing to get something done based on your own definitions and working to meet that goal.
Now, that’s not to say that I don’t love coming home from work now. There is something amazingly freeing about arriving home knowing that the entire evening is mine, that there is no work that I can do because I am away from work, without access to my work computer. On weekends as well, I feel that freedom.
But freedom can restrict as well, and often I am bored at home, not because there is nothing that I could do, but because doing those things has no opposite. Walking TV not longer feels like a relaxing reward for a hard study session; it feels like a way to kill time in between getting home and going to sleep. Hanging out with old school friends feels more like a committment to maintaining relationships than a natural part of my daily life.
But I guess that’s what moving forward into adult life is about – finding productive and rewarding ways to spend your time. I think I need to look into some new hobbies. With all this time on my hands, maybe it’s not right to complain about not getting outside, since finally, I have time free to explore, rather than just taking a break from work I should be doing.
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