Don’t Push Me ‘Cause I’m…
Close to the edge. Yes, graduation is around the corner, and I’m freaking out. I’ve got my time wearing thin until I find a job, move forward with my life. My college career officially ends May 14, but I’ll be done with all work required on the 8th when my final paper is due. Of course, if I get it done sooner, then the sooner I can start panicking about the end of an era.
The end of an era. The end of Michael as an Undergraduate student. I’m starting to regret not taking the time to fill out grad. school applications. I don’t have a job yet and I’m starting to think that the prospects are bleak. My skills thought strong are actually weak. I don’t think I am what anyone is looking for. But I’m still on the grind, biding my time, still alive. I just can’t put thoughts together into coherrent sentences anymore. And my propencity to rhyme comes through. Spelling is probably off too.
I had an interview on Monday and I think that it went well. But I’m still worried because that is my last hope. I have no other interview opportunities coming up that I could take advantage of. So I’m trying to look for more jobs now, specifically in the non-profit field. A Milwaukee Shakespeare company is looking for a Marketing Director. I’m an English major with experience in leadership, communication, and marketing. This seems like a good fit. But now I have to get my act together and send them a resume! AUGH!
I’ve got an exam today and an exam tomorrow. I really haven’t studied for the exam today like I should have. But I don’t feel guilty because Senioritis has been weighing on me heavily. I’m not motivated. Krista suggested I was pushing school away in order to make the end less painful. That might be true, but I also feel like right now I need to focus on getting a job and not on breaking my neck for an exam. Additionally, the exam I have tomorrow I just plain don’t care about.
So much to think about and so much bouncing around in my head. It’s not that I don’t have enough time to do it all; it’s that I don’t feel like my efforts make a difference. I want to work as a janitor or something. I’ll scrub floors and unclog toilets as long as I get paid enough to have an apartment and save a little money. And health insurance would be nice too. A requirement actually.
I try to take a deep breath and make sure I stay calm. Things are going well in reality. And I do have a summer job lined up (even if I am not that enamoured with it, though it is a managing position). In truth, things are going well. I need to stay focused on the positive. Next steps are always hard, but once you’re up, you’re up for good.
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