Michael Braun's Blog

I guess this is one of the perks of getting a real job. You get to head out into the real world and spend real money on expensive things. And as I prepare to make that step, the first expensive thing that I will be buying is a car. I’m currently driving a 1997 Ford Escort with a little over 100,000 miles. It’s a good car, but it belongs to my mother as one of the 3 cars that she owns. That’s a lot of cars. And my sister needs a car to drive for next year, the Escort being her number one choice. It’s either that, or my mom’s Camry, which has well over 200,000 miles on it. The choice seems clear. Newly rich Michael needs to buy a car.

Some might regard this process as exciting, but I really had no idea what I was going to do. My mom had said to go and test drive some cars, but I wasn’t truly sure what that entailed. I was pacing around this morning, trying to find someone to go with me, but having no success. Finally Woodie asked me why I was so nervous and just told me to go and have a good time. So with that mindset, I headed off to Zimbrick Honda out on Fish Hatchery Road.

I arrived safe and sound and walked right in the building. The friendly receptionist got me set up with a helpful sales person immediately. I was mainly there to discover the differences between the Accord and the Civic, and then also to compare the Civic to the Toyota Corolla. We set out on a test drive quickly. The Accord drove nearly just like Anthony’s, so it wasn’t much of a new experinece. It’s a quiet and solid feeling car. The only downside was that it felt big. Next was the Civic, which I fell in love with immediately.

The 2006 Civic has been completely redesigned, and it looks amazing. The hood is shorter, making the interior feel large. The dash has a long slope. The dashboard has it’s spedometer, gas guage, and temperature gauge (all digital) right below your vision line, making it easy to see that information without taking your eyes off the road. The tachometer is down in the normal position, along with warning lights and other things. Cruise control and audio controls on the steering wheel, which feels very sporty. All other features are not as exciting, but the whole thing just felt very classy. The audio system also includes an auxilary port used for an mp3 player (or anything, really), but naturally that appealled to me as an easy way to use my iPod in the car.

We talked about used versus new, and I was not impressed with the price differentials. The used cars are only around $3000 cheaper, and the 2006 model, as I mentioned before, has been completely redesigned. Anyway, I gathered up all that information and left feeling very positive about the Honda Civic.

I then made my way over to UW Credit Union to talk about a loan. It seems like a very simple process, and the person I talked to there seemed to think that I would get approved for the loan without much trouble. So now the question is do I really want to borrow $18,000 to buy a car?! But I did the math, and payments over 60 months are less than $400 a month, which is what I have been budgeting for. So the answer is yes, I do want to borrow that much. And I’ll have $3000 for a downpayment, thanks to my mother and her generous graduation present. All in all, it means I’m looking to be driving new wheels come the middle of June (or maybe before!).

What a busy whirlwind of a weekend it’s been. Yesterday, I my dad and I helped my godfather move, and I am sore today because of it. More on that later.

The weekend opened Thursday night when I arrived in Mishicot around 7:30. My dad and I went out for a walk and then hopped in the car to go and get some food. I was starving, having not eaten much all day. We just went to Perkins, so no where fancy, but I did manage to get the bill from the table and pay it. This is something that I have never done before. And it makes sense, since I now make more money than my father, that I should be able to pay a bill without him complaining too much.

Friday, we got up and hopped in the car to drive across the state to the son of some of my dad’s friends from college… to his high school graduation. The drive was long, even though we did switch drivers a couple of times and had the AC running. It really was a more painful drive than I had expected. Nevertheless, we made it safe and sound and found ourselves a nice hotel room (I did not pay for that). We got dressed up and headed over to their house before heading to the ceremony. And oh yes, the ceremony. It was held in a gym and was extremely hot. And long. And boring. But it was all good.

Saturday we left in the afternoon and drove all the way back. Driving back was not as bad as driving there, though I don’t know why. And either way, we still arrived tired. I slept well that night. Sunday morning we got up and headed to Appleton to help my godfather move. He’s getting married and so we had to help his future wife unload all her stuff from a UHaul, then fill it up with his stuff, and unload it again. Her stuff wasn’t much of a problem. A lot of light stuff that was easy to move. But when we had to load and unload his stuff, that’s when the work came in. Just as my muscles were tiring so were everyone else’s. And being young and strong (I guess) I had an end on every piece of furniture. The worst was the extremely heavy entertainment center, which I could barely lift. But we survived it all, and I left from Appleton to come back here to Madison.

And now it’s Memorial Day, which means nothing, but that’s okay. I start work in a week and am pretty excited. While I was gone, my confirmation packet came in the mail, so I got to read all kinds of interesting stuff and get myself very excited for what is to come.

If going to college and getting that kind of education was Phase One of Michael’s adult life, then on June 5, I am about to begin Phase Two. Today, around 5 o’clock, Maggie from Epic Systems called me to offer me a position in their Technical Services department. Without hearing any of the other details she was ready to give me, I accepted the position. Then we discussed details.

They have great benefits – 401K Retirement, stock options, health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, life insurance, two weeks paid vacation for each of your first two years, then three weeks, and all kinds of other great stuff. But what really shocked me plenty was the pay. I will start at $55,000 a year. Let me repeat that. $55,000 a year. In my wildest dreams, I had pictured myself making $20,000 less than that. I am still trying to get the number straight in my head.

It’s like all of a sudden I have some sort of hidden power that I don’t really understand. I’m trying to fathom that sum and I can’t do it. It’s strange to realize that even on my conservative estimates of earnings (meaning taking a lot out for taxes) and my liberal estimates for spending (high rent, bills, food) and my plan to put away $500 a month into retirement, I’ve still got $1000 a month left over. That’s a lot of buying power, right there.

Funny thing is the first thing that my mind jumped to when I heard I had the job and heard what the salary was is what I was going to buy for other people. I immediately planned to get my mom a computer (an iMac) because she needs a new one (or at least one that isn’t a Windows machine) and then started thinking about birthday presents for my sister. It’s nice to think big and actually know that you can realize your dreams rather than pushing them further and further into the “someday” category.

And I also started thinking about myself. One of the large purchases I was planning to make no matter what my pay was going to be was a car. And now it looks like that will definitely become a reality, perhaps sometime in July. I’m excited about that. And the other thing I was thinking about was the possibility of buying a house rather than renting. Obviously that is not something that I could make happen immediately, as I have no money for a down payment, but in a year or two…? I think it is something to consider. And I would love to buy a place you could put some work into and then get a healthy return on my investment.

But the real issue right now is that I can’t sleep! I’m running nothing but number through my head, thinking how in the world can I be making that much money and how in the world could I actually afford to do something like buy my mom a computer? Yesterday, these were nothing but dreams. Today, they are reality. I’m still trying to figure it all out.

I just completed an interview with Heather from Apple. We talked about my application for the position of Telesales Representative. What is that, you ask. If you were to call into Apple to order a product, I would be the person you would get to talk to. It’s a sales position with a base salary and then commission. I’m not crazy about the commission thing, but otherwise the work sounds fine, though you do need a flexible schedule and will work some weekends and some strange hours sometimes. And the job would require me to move to Sacramento. That’s a long way away. But I suppose I would be up for it.

So the interview went well, and I get to talk to some other people tomorrow, one or two people over the phone, before they are going to look into bringing me in to interview in person. I wonder if they mean into Sacramento. That would be very exciting. I wouldn’t turn down a free trip to California. Of course, that may come with some committment to accept the job if they offer it to me, and I don’t know if I could say that without hearing a NO from Epic.

And that’s what’s got me still nervous. I very much hope that they will offer me a job, but they haven’t yet. And not that three days passing by is a big deal, when they said it would be within two weeks, and not that I have doubts about my performance… but I’m still playing that waiting game. And it’s a tough game to play.

Well, the whole post really isn’t going to be about sports, so that title is a bit misleading. My apologies.

I mentioned in my last post that I was going to comment on The Da Vinci Code, which I saw with Dan on Friday. Friday was opening day, and even though we saw it at 4 PM, the theater was still packed. And we saw it on the “UltraScreen” which seats more people. Very impressive showing, we thought. Now the movie had gotten skewered by critics, and I understand some of their points after seeing the movie. For one, it is slower than the book, but only because it stays very true to the book. And a fast-paced book translated directly to screen results in a bit of a slow movie. But it was entertaining and well-acted. Overall, I thought it was a good movie. So go see it if you are a fan of the book. It’s worth it.

Now, what about sports? Well, yesterday, Ida came over (Woodie’s high school friend… and college friend too) and she, Dan, Woodie, and myself, headed out to the basketball courts behind the SERF. The competition was intense. While playing HORSE, I was first out all 3 games, and Woodie second out. It was rough. In two on two, Dan and I beat Ida and Woodie, thanks to my height advantage. And in shooting around, we all had a fine time. We moved on to soccer, where Dan, Woodie, and I seriously exhausted ourselves while Ida took a break. So that was tons of fun.

In other sports news, the NBA playoffs have sure been great this year. Some of you may recall my posts about the playoffs last year. They turned me into an NBA fan. And this year, they’ve been even better. I personally have been cheering for any underdog team, unless that underdog team is playing the Dallas Mavericks, my favorite team. Those underdogs have put up some good fights, including Cleveland taking Detroit to a Game 7 (only to lose). It’s been a great series so far. Let’s all cheer on the Mavericks tonight in their Game 7 against the Spurs.

That just about wraps things up on this end. Not much else going on as I wait to hear about jobs and such. It’s been a pretty dull weekend, and I hope that that can continue right on into this week.

Step right up, folks, and let’s play… THE… WAITING… GAME! It’s everyone’s favorite game show.

But not mine. I had my final interview Epic on Thursday. I was very excited to be back and got to meet all kinds of new people, including people in the two departments in which I applied to work. It was nice to be able to talk with them and to leave with the feeling that I indeed felt like these are people I would love to work with. I got to give a 20 minute presentation, which I thought went very well. Overall, I think that the whole day couldn’t have gone better. But, now I get to play the waiting game. I will hear about the potentials for a job within two weeks. I am optomistic, but naturally worried. If this doesn’t pan out, I’m back to square one. At least I have enough money in the bank for summer.

And hey, it is summer. Some of you may know (though this is actually doubtful; I don’t know if anyone knows this) whenever summer hits, I always get a craving to write a novel or at least some long work of fiction. Back in the day, I used to actually pull out a notebook and start writing. Nowadays, I usually just toss some ideas around in my head and end up with nothing. But with some time on my hands, who knows what could come of it? I am really quite bored sitting around all day that it seems like the ideal time to crank out something. Then again, I also still need to wrap up my album and get that project finalized.

My grades for last semester turned out very well. I got a 4.0, something I was not anticipating, though had hoped for as the semester began. The one class I was highly concerned about was Asian American Women Writers, with a professor whose grading scale was beyond my level of comprehension. It seemed like she was determined to give no one an A on anything. But lo and behold, that’s what both mine and my friend Steph’s final grades were, despite the fact that we got no A’s on anything for the entire semester. Steph was convinced that her final was bad and that it wasn’t going to help bring her grade up. So needless to say, I was both shocked and extremely pleased that I got an A in the course and that Steph did too.

So anyway, that’s it. I’m bored here. But I will no doubt find something to entertain myself with. I saw the Da Vinci Code yesterday with Dan. That might make a nice next post.

I was laying in bed last night and thinking about my former summer job. I was wondering if it was indeed true that I was less passionate than the other people working there.

Before I left the job, I had a rather long conversation with the person I interviewed with and observed on my first day. We talked a lot about the need for change and things like that. His perspective was quite common, in my experience, to the point of almost being cliche. He said that things are really “fucked up” and we need to get out there and change them. And then he cited a lot of the usual blather – only 50% of people vote, the environment’s bad, the rich are getting richer. I agree with him on each and every one of those points. For him, solving those problems is something he can work on and feel good about. Whereas I saw his extra effort as pushy and manipulative, he saw it as going that extra step. In short, for these folks, the end does justify the means, just as it does for the Republicans like Bush.

Now, I was thinking, A) I’m just as smart as Bruce and just as up on my current events. B) I’m passionate in wanting things to get better. But for whatever reason, I just see the real point in motivating people to protect a National forest, at least not so much that I could erase my fears of not being able to meet my financial goals. And, as I started the post by saying, I figured out why that is.

For me, the problems in this country that I care passionately about all have to deal with race. Why should I tell someone they need to give money to support the preservations of forests, if a Black person can’t drive home from work in their Lexus without getting stopped by the police, who think the car is stolen? Why should I tell someone they have to help save an endangered species when cities let polluting factories build in the inner city? Why should I get someone involved with ending income disparities across class lines when the real issue has to do with racial discrimination in the work place? Why should I work to get out the vote if the people who aren’t voting can’t vote because if they leave to do it, they’ll get fired, and none of the candidates look or talk like them or care about the same issues?

The point is, I can’t get motivated about these issues because I believe they are not a part of the big picture – race relations in the United States. There was just one person of color in the room when we got back from our canvasing. This group may care about the environment; they may pay lipservice to racial issues, but in truth, I believe that they suffer the same prejudices as a lot of Americans. And when they where their cause on their sleeve and don’t do anything about race, that bugs me.

I’m officially a graduate and that means that I am stuck with the unfortunate position of looking for fulltime employment. While my eventual future is pretty well planned, as far as what I want to achieve and how I am going to achieve it, my own ability to sustain living on my own is in serious question as I have yet to secure fulltime employment.

Today, however, was the first day of the summer job I got a couple months ago to help out in case I didn’t have a fulltime job. I had the most fun I have ever had on a first day of work. I arrived at the office around 12:30 PM, as instructed, and got to meet some people. Eventually we organized into a group, did some orientation (around 20 minutes or so) and then broke up in little groups to practive our rep. to give to people as we canvas neighborhoods door-by-door to raise support for protecting National forests in Wisconsin. Here’s the breakdown. We go to a door, give the speech, collect money if the people give it, and move on. Seemed a bit daunting, but good. Anyway, so at 2:15 we broke down into our canvasing groups and hopped in a car and drove to get lunch and then to the neighborhood. We arrived around 3:30 (it was a long lunch). Once there, I went with the person I was observing and we started going door-to-door. I got to practice myself some, then did a little bit out on my own, and we met back up at 9. Back at the office we broke down our money and information, recorded it, and then we were done.

But when I was finished, I told the people in charge that I wasn’t going to be able to be back. I gave them my reasons, edited, but let me break it down for you.

A) The pay. It’s not hourly or salaried; it’s based on you meeting your fundraising goals. That means you never have a paycheck in the same amount, and it is also possible that you could make no money whatsoever. Obviously, that would be bad.

B) The hours. This goes right along with the pay. I was told the job goes from 2 until 10 every day. That sounded fine, though I don’t much care for second shift. I could deal with it. But as I listened, it seemed like the normal hours actually go from 12:30 until 10. And if I wanted to fulfill my promised position of Field Manager, I would need to attend special trainings that start even earlier. The more I listened it sounded like you never really just get to work from 2 until 10. If it was hourly, that would be fine. But since it’s not, working 10 hour days is not something I can do.

C) Long hours mean less time for other stuff. I need to find a fulltime job, a real job, a job that gives me money and allows me to make plans for the future. This summer job ain’t it, but I knew that. The problem is that the summer job takes away time I need to get a real job. I’ve got an interview on Thursday, and I need to give a 20 minute presentation for it. I need hours everyday to plan that. When I come home tired after 10, it means that the evening hours are out. And I am not the kind of person who works best getting up at 6 or 7, not when I have work at 12 staring me in the face. I am highly disciplined and not a procrastinator; because of this, I know the time I need to put on a given project, and I will not have the time I need to find a job if I am working at this job.

D) I don’t care that much about the issues to shake money out of people. Observing today, I found that I don’t have the drive to give the extra push to people who seem reluctant to give. When talking about that later with the person I observed, I found out that he felt like he was helping them; I felt he was being rude and pushy. I can’t change the minimum donation suggestion to a higher price for someone who seems richer. And overall, I can’t pretend like the membership in the organization actually means something or will actually get results. So while I care about the issues and would love to stand on a street corner and tell people about it, or go door-to-door, or whatever it takes, I cannot do the fundraising and feel good about it. For me, the end almost NEVER justifies the means.

And now, with all that said, I feel guilty in telling them that I had to figure out my life before I could commit to them. At the same time, they invested nothing in me. The first day you work is always unpaid. So why in the world should I care? I guess my only concern is financial. But if I don’t a fulltime job soon, I’m in trouble either way. So having a job with long and difficult hours doesn’t really help me out all that much. Overall, I guess it’s just my personal work ethic driving me to feel frustrated with myself. But maybe what I should really be doing is clapping myself on the back for having understood my own time constraints and opted for a better position.

I’ve got some more stuff to say, specifically about some of the people that I met. They were all really good people, but I’ve got some observations about these highly passionate and liberal people that I may share in a future post. Until then, thanks for reading. It feels good to get this all off my chest.

My aunt Stuart sent me a graduation gift in the mail yesterday – a very nicely bound journal, the kind anyone would be aching to write in. My problem with journals, however, is that I don’t much trust my handwriting. It’s not really so bad, I guess, and is actually a lot more legible than a lot of adults I know. Nevertheless, this leaves me less than motivated to start writing in this nice book. Plus there’s the fact that I already blog (here obviously) and keep a personal journal on my computer. The ability to type makes recording my life so much easier.

But here was this book, all set for me to use, and an interesting idea struck me. So I have turned the journal into a rhyme book. What is a rhyme book, you ask. It’s quite exactly what its name says, but I can go on to explain its purposes. When one is found of rhyming (either to music ala “rapping” or just in general ala improv poetry) having a place to write down rhymes you think of can be very valuable. So for example, yesterday before I went to bed, this rhyme came to me.

Funny, how a girl you think is a honey
Turns out to be a rummy
and your stomach turns numb, see?
You think you’re a dummy.
It’s funny.

Usually I would have gone over that a few times in my head and then, if I thought it was good enough, would have typed it up on my computer and then never done anything else with it ever. But instead I just wrote it down in my rhyme book and can have it to easily look back to. The book is great for those random rhymes, but also can be used to help write lyrics, both by providing a backstock of rhymes or for putting thoughts down on paper. With my addiction to my keyboard, it’s nice to actually have a book to write these things down in. Hopefully, I will have enough rhymes going through my head that I can keep up this writing. I also find it emotionally freeing to write rhymes about things that I am thinking or worrying about.

In other news, the final step of the hiring process with Epic will take place on Thursday, May 18. Aside from meeting with both of the departments that I applied to work for, I also get to give a 20 minute presentation on ANYTHING (no computer visuals allowed)! I am thinking of doing the presentation on Southeast Utah (Moab region). It’s a place I know a lot about, love to visit, and have a lot of pictures from. I think I can put together a really great presentation, including some nicely designed brochures. I’m getting more excited the more I think about it.

As E3 rolls onward, with new and exciting announcements everyday, even I cannot help but write a post on video games. Now, I don’t consider myself a gamer, mostly due to the negative connotations surrounding that word, but I do play my fair share of games and have always enjoyed playing video games.

One of the reasons that I don’t consider myself a gamer is that I have never been up on purchasing the newest technology. I was given a Game Boy as a present a couple years after it had come out. I bought a Sega Saturn after its popularity had already waned (if it was every popular, due to heavy competition from PS1). And I bought a Game Boy Advance SP when I could get it on sale for less that $100. But this may all change. I’m fired up about one of the new systems. Can you guess which one?

It’s the Nintendo Wii (pronounced “we”) that has me salivating. Previously code-named Revolution, and with a name change that has a lot of people upset, the Wii fits its code-name very well. Rather than try to compete with PS3 and XBox 360 on raw graphics power, the Wii switches things up and changes the game completely. It features a remote-control shaped controller that records the player’s hand movements with stunning accuracy. Imagine playing tennis and using the controller as your racket. The controller also allows you to attach a separate joy stick and trigger module meaning most any button combination possible on old controllers should still work. Also, there has been talk about a significant back catalogue of games that will be available for download on the Wii (imagine finally being able to play Mario Kart for the SNES without bring out your old system! Or what about Star Fox for the N64!). These changes have me seriously considering purchasing one upon its release.

The other device that I will for sure buy when it is released on June 11 is the Nintendo DS Lite. The Lite is a smaller, less heavy, and brighter model of the popular DS (DS standing for Dual Screen). This innovative handheld offers advantages over the graphics-driven PSP because it gives the player a different kind of gaming experience. That new experience results in different types of games often making the ports on the PSP seem downright boring. Additionally, the touch screen capabilities make communicating with a game something personal, rather than the button-mashing that, I believe, bores a lot of non-gamers.

But Michael, you say, are you sure you want to get so far away from the other systems? Since the Wii is so different, you won’t be able to play a lot of the major releases for systems like the PS3 and the 360! In response…

1: This claim has not been verified. Because of the innovative Wii controller, the games will require different programming to take full advantage of the unique design. But the Wii is still able to process good graphics data, so while it may not be up-to-spec compared to the other new systems, those systems won’t find their graphics processors tapped out any time soon. Also, the popularity of the DS (just as innovative to a degree) has lead game makers to make completely new games for the DS so they can take full advantage. If the Wii sells well, I think you’ll see the same thing happen.

2: When the XBox 360 debuted, I thought it was horribly over priced. $299 for the basic system (which no one would want) and $399 for the upgraded system. Now that Anthony actually has one, I like it, but agree completely that it is over priced. You can’t do anything special with it! It doesn’t even have an HD drive. BUT now that PS3 prices are out, the XBox looks like a downright bargin! $499 for the low end and $599 for the higher end, both with a Blu-Ray drive, but at those prices, who cares? Their first release will sell out, but after that, without a huge stock of games to drive sales, there might be some serious competition between 360 and PS3. While I haven’t seen Wii prices out yet, I bet they will be more than a wee bit less.

3: Who cares about major game title releases anyway? The only innovative thing that Microsoft has brought out is their XBox Live service. But PS3 and Wii will both have something similar, only you won’t have to pay $50 a year for it. The games that are out there now aren’t exciting or different. I am not the kind of person who cares much about pretty graphics. So the lure of a more expensive, more powerful system just isn’t there.

Anyway, there’s my take on the whole industry. I can’t wait to learn more about the Wii and to get my DS Lite on June 11! It’s a great time for video games, if you aren’t buying XBox 360 or PS3.

I’m done being an undergraduate. I finished my paper earlier than expected (since it’s not due until Monday), printed it, and handed it in. It turned out well. I started working on it last night, an hour before sleep spent finding quotations. And I had my outline done and topic sentences written. So it was just a matter of fleshing it all out and then proofreading. And honestly, I was ready to get it done.

But now I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll continue watching poker on television. And not write anymore on this post.

Mmm… not a spree, I guess, reconsidering. But I did go shopping today, partly for some clothes I needed, but definitely overboard with some purchases. But hey, with the advent of the possibility of an actual job, I figured some useful clothes (like dress pants) wouldn’t hurt. And after a disappointing try to find some pants that fit around a month ago, I was ready to try again.

I first went to Kohl’s and soon wondered why I hadn’t gone there earlier. They always have a great selection of nice clothes. I was looking at Dockers brand pants, knowing they usually have a wider range of sizes than other types and I stumbled across their “Pro Khaki.” I don’t know what makes them Pro per se, but they fit better than just about any dress pant I have tried on recently. Flat front, slimmer legs, and a more natural waist fit, they work amazing. I bought three pairs – like khaki, darker khaki, and charcoal grey. I was anticipating paying $40 a pair, but they were on sale for $30. I also found a great brown blazer that fits very well (though the sleeves could stand to be shortened just a little, to let some shirt cuff show).

After Kohl’s, I headed to Dick’s Sporting Goods, as an entry point to the mall. I walked quickly through and to Express, where Woodie was working. He must have been in the back, or something, because he wasn’t there. And Express’ incredibly high prices had me leaving quite soon. I then though I saw a security guard following a cadre of African American gentlmen, so I followed her for a while, but she stopped following them, so I stopped following her. Anyway, then I went back into Dick’s, where I picked up some basketball shorts and a nice red track jacket.

I headed out to my car and then off to Woodman’s for some grocery shopping. That was quick and painless, so then back home, where I unloaded everything, parked my car, and put stuff in the fridge. I then held a fashion show for myself and put on some nice clothes before sitting on the sofa and fall asleep in them.

In other news, this morning I read all of Tony’s old LiveJournal entries. What a pleasant experience. I’m sure we all remember the days when Tony wrote a lot online so that we all could read it and keep up with what he’s doing. Wouldn’t it be great (AHEM, Tony!) if he started to do that again? Yes, yes it would be great.

You may recall that in my last post I mentioned an interview and being freaked out about how it was my last chance to get a job. I had myself so convinced that I needed to find something else that I actually started believing that the interview didn’t go all that well and that there was no way I would get a job at the company. I was checking out job websites, finding jobs, writing cover letters, and getting ready to send some out via mail. Then, my phone rings.

It was the person I interviewed with. She said I did great. And she said, since I was interested in two different positions (software trainer and software support), they wanted to bring me in to meet with both those departments. She didn’t use the words “interview” and so to me, that sounds like they want to know where I will fit best before giving me a job. I don’t want to say that I have a job, but I don’t think I can get much closer to getting an offer. I guess I could totally screw things up, but as of right now, I feel like it’s nearly a done deal. And yet I’m still in shock.

I kept telling myself that I would not get a job, and I’ve been saving up money like crazy in fear that I would not be able to pay my rent or something. I’ve been worrying about moving and trying to contact relatives so as to use nepotism to get myself a position anywhere. I offered a professor of mine my skills as a caretaker for a cabin of his in California. That’s how crazy I was getting!

Now, I don’t have a job yet, obviously, and I don’t want to get my hopes up. But at the same time, I feel like I need to just take a breather and realize that I performed very well in the interview. I obviously impressed them with my personality and my professionalism. It feels good to think that. Also, it feels good to know that they called me back in 4 days, after they told me I could expect to hear back in 1-2 weeks (which previously had meant 2 weeks).

So I’m trying to relax over here. I did good and I think I can smile on myself and stay positive. I think that I am going to get a job with Epic. But I still want to know for sure so that I can start to think (really think) and plan for the future. It would really put my mind at ease.

Close to the edge. Yes, graduation is around the corner, and I’m freaking out. I’ve got my time wearing thin until I find a job, move forward with my life. My college career officially ends May 14, but I’ll be done with all work required on the 8th when my final paper is due. Of course, if I get it done sooner, then the sooner I can start panicking about the end of an era.

The end of an era. The end of Michael as an Undergraduate student. I’m starting to regret not taking the time to fill out grad. school applications. I don’t have a job yet and I’m starting to think that the prospects are bleak. My skills thought strong are actually weak. I don’t think I am what anyone is looking for. But I’m still on the grind, biding my time, still alive. I just can’t put thoughts together into coherrent sentences anymore. And my propencity to rhyme comes through. Spelling is probably off too.

I had an interview on Monday and I think that it went well. But I’m still worried because that is my last hope. I have no other interview opportunities coming up that I could take advantage of. So I’m trying to look for more jobs now, specifically in the non-profit field. A Milwaukee Shakespeare company is looking for a Marketing Director. I’m an English major with experience in leadership, communication, and marketing. This seems like a good fit. But now I have to get my act together and send them a resume! AUGH!

I’ve got an exam today and an exam tomorrow. I really haven’t studied for the exam today like I should have. But I don’t feel guilty because Senioritis has been weighing on me heavily. I’m not motivated. Krista suggested I was pushing school away in order to make the end less painful. That might be true, but I also feel like right now I need to focus on getting a job and not on breaking my neck for an exam. Additionally, the exam I have tomorrow I just plain don’t care about.

So much to think about and so much bouncing around in my head. It’s not that I don’t have enough time to do it all; it’s that I don’t feel like my efforts make a difference. I want to work as a janitor or something. I’ll scrub floors and unclog toilets as long as I get paid enough to have an apartment and save a little money. And health insurance would be nice too. A requirement actually.

I try to take a deep breath and make sure I stay calm. Things are going well in reality. And I do have a summer job lined up (even if I am not that enamoured with it, though it is a managing position). In truth, things are going well. I need to stay focused on the positive. Next steps are always hard, but once you’re up, you’re up for good.