Michael Braun's Blog

Alas, alas, despite my visions of the week before school being non-stop fun, catching up with friends, hanging out at all kinds of cool places, I find myself typing this posting in the middle of the afternoon, exactly the time I should be off having fun somewhere. Why has this happened, you ask. I don’t even know.

My sister, who I saw just a bit ago at her dorm, was getting ready to go to Jazz on the Square with some new friends she met and really seems to like. That sounds pretty fun. She seems to be connecting with people and making friends. I was worried she wouldn’t. So she has something to do and isn’t dependent on me for entertainment. I never thought she would be and dreaded that she might be, but wouldn’t it be flattering if she was? Anyway, she’s got stuff to do.

Woodie is off at work. He works at trendy clothing store Express. I don’t envy him having to work on a beautiful day such as this, but at least he has something to do. I am sure he is chatting with the hot women he works with and enduring the bad music they play all day long. He mostly runs clothes from the back to the front or from the racks by the changing rooms where the rejected clothes go. It doesn’t sound like much fun, but he’s not at home bored at least.

Dan went to the SERF (SouthEast Recreational Facility) to play basketball. Dan really likes to play basketball, and he’s good, which is to say he’s a lot better than me. He goes into the gym and gets in a pickup game with other people who are there. He asked me if I wanted to come, but I said I would just bring down whichever team I was playing for. Playing basketball is good exercise, and you can do it year-round. Bicycling is the only exercise I get, and I won’t be able to do it in the winter. I should find something else to do to keep in shape. So Dan’s off having a good time.

I am not sure where Anthony is. I think he might be in his room taking a nap. He came and cleaned up a lot of the apartment by putting some stuff that was his away and setting up video games and such. The apartment is back to its usual standard of cleanliness. It’s much nicer to walk around and be in the living room because of his efforts. Anthony has a DJ gig tonight at one of the big dorms. I bet the dance will be a lot of fun; unfortunately, I’m a little old to show up there. It will be mostly freshman, I imagine. But since I don’t know what he is doing now, I am not sure if he is suffering from a lack of stimulation or not.

I don’t know what anyone else is doing right now. I am awaiting classes starting to make some new friends and branch out in my social existence. Until then, perhaps I will waste some more time on my computer, or read a book, or sit around until I fall asleep.

When you read the title, you have to really draw our the word “drama.” “Draaaaama.” Anyway, there have been some issues around Apple events that have been causing some of the above referenced word.

In July, at an Apple event, Bob instructed Evan to make sure we got a spot at the annual Memorial Union Bash, a welcome back event for students. While I have never been to it, I believe that in the past is has been a kind of booth event, where many organizations are represented and students can come and walk through. It sounds pretty lame.

Evan went through a string of people, only to find out that due to changes and misunderstandings, it looked like we were not going to have a table. Evan e-mailed Bob and told him the bad news. When Bob got the e-mail on Monday, he was unhappy and started to work to see if we could get in. This did not pan out, as Bob was just covering ground Evan had already covered. In the end, Evan and I decided to go and hand out flyers for our campus reseller there, even though we don’t have a table. This seemed to appease Bob.

Funny thing about the whole situation is that we learned that Bob doesn’t read. Evan sent him a string of e-mails documenting all he had tried to do and had asked Bob to call him. I sent an e-mail supporting Evan in response. Bob sent all his responses to the situation to my e-mail, and he chose to call me. I don’t think Evan was very happy when that happened. Overall, the whole situation, for me, is somewhat laughable. Since it wasn’t my responsibility, no blame falls on my shoulder. I am sure we will have just as much of a pressence there, we just won’t be tied down to a table.

I hope MU Bash is fun tonight. I e-mailed Krista, a girl I had had three classes with last semester, just to see if she was back to school. She e-mailed me back and said she was and said she was going out to a Mexican restaurant tonight for half-priced Margarhitas and asked if I wanted to come along. I had to call her back and say I couldn’t, even though I really would have liked to. I asked her what she was doing tomorrow. She said she was hanging out with a busy friend but would call me if they decided to do anything fun. And we have a class together this semester, so it seems like it should be good for us to get together and do something at SOME POINT during the semester.

Anthony moved in today. It’s really nice to have him back in town. He is right now still setting up his room and his stuff is spread out in the living room and kitchen counter/dining area. So the house is now packed to maximum capacity. 4 people and it should be great.

Today Katie moved into her dorm (Katie is my sister). She is in Chadbourne on the sixth floor. By the time I arrived to help, she, my mom, and Mark had already gotten everything up into her room. I helped set up the computer and other electronics, but otherwise mostly stayed out of the way. Her setup seemed to go a lot faster than mine and Anthony’s ever did. I always felt like we would be setting up until 9 or 10 at night when we would finally collapse everything connected and running. I’m not sure this memory is entirely accurate, but she was done by 10 AM or so. Amazing.

Her roommate got there around 10:30. She seems really nice and cool. Katie was worried because she does drink. I tried to reassure her that that does not mean she loses all sense of herself. 99.9% of people on campus drink, or nearly that anyway. Some of them do drink irresponsibly, true. But at the same time, most are very regulated, and do not become idiots when consumming alcohol. I think the biggest mistake Katie can make is not just accepting that her roommate drinks. The ideal attitude to have, I think, is one of tolerance. I feel that a drinker should accept mine (and I think her) choice not to drink, and I should accept their choice. Unless one of us becomes wreckless in our activity of choice, there should be no friction. And I think you know who your real friends are when you say, hey I don’t drink, and they say, oh that’s cool. Woodie and Dan drink and they totally accept Anthony and me. We do the same for them and it all works out.

Anyway, tomorrow Katie, her roommate, Dan, Anthony, and I are all going book-shopping. I am excited to buy my books, as I am every year. It’s always a lot of fun and gives you a clue into what the instructor is like, especially for literature classes. I think this is going to be a really good semester.

Many of you have heard my comments regarding boxing – in general, I don’t enjoy watching two men try to kill each other. Lately, however, my opinion has changed. Today, and actually quite frequently, the usually useless cable channel ESPN Classic, is showing old Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali fights. Their premise for showing them is so we can decide, once and for all, who was better in their prime.

While I don’t know if there is enough information to truly decide due to differences in their respective eras, Dan and I have come to an answer to the age-old question: who would win in a fight between the two? Ali stays back and uses his powerful left jab to intimidate and destroy his opponents. He has the ability to take any punches that come his way and uses this skill to wear down the other fighter. Because of this technique, many of Ali’s fights go into double digit rounds. Tyson uses a completely different style. He moves in, bobbing and ducking reminiscent of Joe Frazier, and lands his best punches when he is in close. Most of his knockouts come from quick and deadly uppercuts. His knockouts also come early, often in the first round.

These two styles seem to mix very interestingly. Ali tries to keep his opponents off him when landing his punches; Tyson gets in close to get big hits. Ali leans back to dodge; Tyson ducks forward. Ali is smart and patient; Tyson is a ball of rage ready to explode at any moment. Put these two men in a ring that they will try to do opposite moves. So who would win?

Dan and I believe the answer is Tyson for several reasons.

A: Tyson is deadly inside. With Ali’s technique of allowing his opponent to throw punches at him with chin down and gloves up, Ali puts Tyson in Tyson’s preferred place. Tyson would be able to use his incredibly powerful uppercuts to drive through Ali’s defensive and land hard under-chin punches. Ali can take a punch, but how many would be too much?

B: Ali has gone up against a fighter like Tyson before and had trouble. Ali and Frazier met in three classic matchups. Ali lost the first and won the second two. But the final two matches were no easy trip. They went on much longer than any Tyson fight with both fighters taking damage. Tyson uses Frazier’s bobbing style, but has a stronger right arm. With both arms incredibly strong, Tyson would give Ali more trouble than Frazier did.

C: Tyson is incredibly fast and aggressive. He always controls the fight. Ali often showboats for the crowd, dragging out fights when he should finish them, as he did in his 1975 bout with Chuck Wepner, a human punching bag incapable of landing a punch on Ali. Ali insisted, however, on ravaging Wepner with his left hook, rather than landing a combo which would have floored him well before the 15th round, when the fight finally ended. Ali would get into trouble early with Tyson’s speed and strength and lose the fight in the first round, even if he wasn’t knocked out until later.

Anyway, my opinion of boxing has changed. I really have enjoyed watching several fights today. Classic boxing is a powerful experience; the fighters show so much in their style, and you can really look forward to seeing the raw strength they possess.

I am done with the house. The house is not done, but my part in the summer long project as reached its end. I scrapped and sanded the entire house, sanding being the longest part of the job. I then primed the back of the house. That is what I completed today at around 1.

I am left with mixed feelings about the project. On the one hand, I feel good at what I was able to do. My aunt said to me as I left that I had done so much that they (she and my uncle) would never have been able to do and that she was very grateful. And it’s true. Everyone invovled severely underestimated the time the project would take. I spent 5 weeks with a sander in my hand going over every inch of that house. This was exhausting, and I don’t think they would have been up to the task of doing something that took such a long time. 5 weeks of work done on weekends means 12 weekends wasted; that’s a lot of time to put in. So I guess I certainly did accomplish something.

On the other hand, with all the work I did I was still told that the house was not all ready to paint and that I should only work on the back. I was prepared to get started on the final stage only to learn that that was no longer what I was going to be allowed to do. In the end, it would have taken a lot longer to prime and paint the whole house, more time than I would have had before school started. But it still hurts that whatever work I did on the house ended up not being enough, even though I never learned what I hadn’t done.

My aunt handed me my check before I left today, with $100 more than we had agreed on. I felt this was a nice way for her to show me that she really DID appreciate all the work I had done. I feel like I deserve that bonus but also feel like I didn’t complete the project and therefore don’t. I wasted no time, however, in despositing the check.

Despite my feelings of imcompletion, I have joy that tomorrow there is no more work to do. And next week, I can enjoy reorganizing my apartment and getting ready for classes to start. I have spent nearly every week day working on that house, but not anymore. Now I can look forward to spending every day… studying.

I actually used a paint brush today. I finally started putting primer on the back of my aunt’s house. She told me this morning, after I asked what she wanted me to do for the next four days, that she wanted me to prime the back. I don’t expect this will take much time. Priming is dirty and sticky, but all in all not a lot of work. I have to be careful to make sure all parts get covered and use a lot of primer. I try to keep drips to a minimum and so far I haven’t sacrificed any clothes to the paint god. I did, however, have to practically bathe in mineral spirits in order to get the oil-based primer off my hands. After I did that, they tingled all the way home until I took a shower. Kind of weird and disconcerting.

I have been listening, almost non-stop, to the classic Beach Boys’ album ‘Pet Sounds.’ It is one of the finest albums I have ever heard and easily makes my Top Albums list, which isn’t really compiled anywhere but in my head. It talks a lot about the notion of home – where we belong in the world and what we all search for. It is influenced a lot by the Beatle’s first classic album ‘Rubber Soul.’ All the songs are fabulous, and they really bring out an emotional side in me that still harbors some hurt from Megan and my breakup. The last song especially, ‘Caroline, No’ is meaningful. The lyrics:

Where did your long hair go
Where is the girl I used to know
How could you lose that happy glow
Oh, Caroline no

Who took that look away
I remember how you used to say
You’d never change, but that’s not true
Oh, Caroline you

Break my heart
I want to go and cry
It’s so sad to watch a sweet thing die
Oh, Caroline why

Could I ever find in you again
Things that made me love you so much then
Could we ever bring ’em back once they have gone
Oh, Caroline no

Speaking of Megan, she called me today for no real reason. She said that when she was home, she “found” my “birthday present.” She said she wanted to give it to me and would be in Madison September 4. I said I did not know if I would be here or not. She then rambled on for another 15 minutes or so. I was extremely cold and fed almost nothing into the conversation. She’s quite the incessant talker. She told me stories about the wedding of her friend Rachel and confirmed that Rusty indeed WAS there. So why no pictures of him from Megan’s dad? Hmmm…. She wrote on her AIM profile yesterday that she was in love with him. Why does that anger me? I don’t want to be with her at all. I guess I just find our interactions now very unpleasant and I don’t want anything to do with her. If I never speak to her again, I will be very happy. I can talk to her parents just fine, and therefore I do not need her to communicate to them for me. So despite the great reduction in calls from her because of her new boyfriend, she still insists on talking to me at intervals. I guess I should share with her how I feel.

I plan to be done working Friday. It will be a relief to get done with such a huge project, even though I didn’t finish it. And the money (I still have a check for $600 coming) will be put to good use. I would like to buy a nice coat. I do not own a coat that is dressy, and I should. I think I will save whatever else of it I can. My sister moves in Monday, the 29th, so I will help her with that, and then… just a couple of days before school starts on the first. I am excited for school to start so I can meet new people, have fun with my roommates, and have the best senior year EVER! I really like school.

I returned to painting my aunt’s house today. It was difficult to get up, not in actually waking and rising but in the idea that I knew what I was headed for. I believed, as I drove the half an hour (though only 12 miles) to her house in Sun Prairie, that I would be caulking today and starting painting tomorrow. When I arrived, however, I was told I should work on the back of the house and that there were a lot of spots on the sides that still needed more work. My aunt told me this in a way that discouraged me, and my mind raced to worst-case scenarios all while I worked. I felt like at the end of the day I should just quit and tell her she can keep the rest of the money she owed me. I felt I was justified: she hadn’t paid me much, I had worked very hard for a long time, and she didn’t seem to trust what I was doing. At the end of the day I spoke to her and said I had some concerns. A) I didn’t think the project was going to get done by the time school started and B) I wasn’t sure how money would work if I didn’t complete the project. I was anticipating that she would suggest I keep working on weekends after school started, to which I was planning to respond I can’t. Happily, she said that she understood and had thought for a couple weeks that I wouldn’t be able to get it done. She seemed fine with that, knowing she had grossly underestimated the time required for the project. She also said that she would be glad to pay me even though I didn’t finish the project. I skipped a little back to my car. Her answers were definitely good news.

At the same time, however, I am filled with some anger towards her. There are several factors that I understand about myself and my feelings towards authority. The main theme: I don’t like authority. I have a strong desire to rebel against any form of authority. Because of this, one of the understandings I have reached is that there are ways that authority figures can interact with me that will make me happy to perform a task and there are ways that will drive me insane. My aunt is mostly good at asking me to do things the first way, but today she was getting on my nerves. Simply the suggestion that the house wasn’t ready to paint irked me. I worked on that house like I would have my own, and I believe fully that it was ready to paint (after a spray down with a hose and come caulking, as I already mentioned). She seemed to say that I hadn’t done enough on the sides of the house and had I been allowed to paint, I would have ignored any spots that I had missed and done a shoddy job. I resent that more than she can imagine. I put my blood, literally, into that house, and I was proud of the work that I had done. Now she proposes to take it away because I haven’t done enough.

On the one hand, it’s fine. We don’t share the same opinion on the work that needs to be done and the way that it should be completed. I have enough confidence that I had worked hard on that house and gotten it ready that I am able to disregard her opinion. I still believe I am right. Therefore, if she wants to do the work herself, I am perfectly glad to let her. On the other hand, I feel shafted. I was hired to do this work: either let me do it or get someone else. Instead of micromanaging the whole project, have a little faith in me. I feel like I was treated like a 16 year old who has no work-ethic and needs constant supervision. It seems silly to state, “I’m 21 and I can do it myself!” but I would like some credit. I believe I have proven myself as an adult and as a hard worker. I feel I can make decisions about the house based on what is best for it, not what is best for me.

So maybe the trust issue is the problem that underlies it all. We never established what our relationship was. Was I a relative working for her, an employee under her watchful eye, or a contractor hired to get the work done? I felt I was the third option and tried to take suggestions from her with a kind smile and hardy nod. Instead I think she felt I was her employee and she was the supervisor. This was not a role I relished, and I can’t say it worked out very well. Being told – oh, did you get this spot? oh, did you get that spot? – did not raise my morale and did not make me want to work to my fullest ability. I’m a self-motivator and being told constantly places that I needed to work made it very difficult for me to take pride in what I was doing.

This issue of trust is one that I feel I could write another post on easily. There are issues as to which relatives trust me and which don’t. It seems the ones who know me best (parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts with children with whom I spend a lot of time) trust me; those who I only see at holildays do not. I think I will plan to write more about that subject later.

Until then, I’m back to work tomorrow with no idea what I will be doing. I don’t think I will work past Friday; I need to get ready for school, mostly by having some days where I can hang out with my roommates and get back into the swing of things, not be thinking about having to hang from a ladder, paint dust flying in my eyes and sneezing from all the pollen.

I have arrived home, back in Madison. When I walked into our new apartment, I said to Dan, “it feels good to be home.” The people I miss most when I am away our my roommates. I don’t know if they feel the same way, but when I leave here to go someplace else, I feel regretful that I am leaving. When I return, I am glad to be back with them.

I have a lot to write about, but I don’t know if I will get to it all. I also may skip over some of the details and turn them into more complete posts later. I can summerize my trip up north pretty simply. It was a very nice and relaxing time full of family, good food, games, reading, and swimming – things that often make up a good vacation. And during the whole trip, I never felt a desire to write about something so the promised posts from while I was away are non-existent. This is a good thing, probably, because it means my mind was not troubled during the whole trip enough to write about anything that happened. I think I could write a later post with observations about my cousins but that can wait.

I guess the major news is already a week old: our move from apartment 307 to apartment 103 last Sunday. First, let me just say that the move happened without a hitch because of our superior planning abilities and a lot of hard work by all. We had most everything packed up by the time the cleaners were done with 103 and so the most that we had to do was run up and down stairs a million times. The exciting part of the move was that Dan and I noticed the apartment across from us on the 3rd floor had leather sofas. After some careful thinking, we decided the best thing to do was to switch these with our own in apartment 103. This took a bit of work carrying them up and down the stairs, but after a good amount of struggling, we equipped our apartment with very trendy and comfortable couches. After about 4 hours of work, we vacated 307 forever. Our new apartment is very nice, though even after a week, we are still working putting stuff away.

Dan’s birthday is tomorrow, so we are celebrating tonight. It should be a very low-key affair. Two of Dan’s friends from high school are here, and I believe we are all going to go to a nice place called the Blue Velvet Lounge later tonight. I will write more about what is going on tomorrow after I get done with work. I am finally going to get to paint!

I have completed the sanding on my aunt’s house, finally. The last stretch was completed in an 11 day work marathon. Not only that, but on Friday (yesterday) I worked 11 hours, taking very few breaks. Today I went in before 8 and worked until 3 just to get everything complete.

Tomorrow, we are switching apartments. We will take all of our things and bring them down two floors to apartment 103. We are currently still packing things up and I have several loads I want to bring to my car so I don’t have to move them in a hurry tomorrow. We will have very little notice of when we have to move so we will need to move quickly. I now know why we saved all of those paper bags from Woodman’s. They are coming in very handy. We have a lot of stuff and packing is taking awhile. I am also very tired and that is not helping things much. Thankfully, the cleaners won’t arrive tomorrow until 12, so we will have some more time in the morning to pack. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep my eyes open.

I have been working so much lately that there isn’t much more on my mind. I wish that I had been making more entries lately but I have been so exhausted. On the 15th I am leaving to go up to my grandparents’ cottage. My cousins will be up there too so it should be a good time. I will not return until the 21st. It will be a great vacation away from the rigors of painting. I will try to write entries while up north but will obviously not be able to post them until I return.

I may be able to write more tomorrow, but we don’t yet know the status of our internet in the new apartment. Officially we will not have internet until the 25th, but I think that it will be active when we arrive. I’ll find out tomorrow.

What I really hate about the Cable industry in the US is that the government allows them to be a monoploy. We only have the option to get cable services (television and internet) provided to us through one carrier – Charter Communications. Since our apartment building has worked out a deal to provide all apartments with television service as a way to charge us more rent, the only thing we rely on Charter for is cable internet. I have been reasonably happy with the internet service. Aside from an annoying billing issue earlier this summer in which one of our payments was not recorded properly, the service has been relatively problem free.

The price of the service, however, has been annoying me for a while. It started at $44 dollars a month, which I thought was high but was willing to live with. When split three ways it’s doable. Just recently, though, our rate was raised 2 dollars and then another 2 dollars. This, topped with the fact that my boss pays $38 a month for the same service, was too much. I called Charter to have them move the service from our old apartment to our new on the 14th and to complain about the price.

I first talked with Cindy, a nice young woman. She had some trouble figuring out the order to switch the service. She said the person in our old apartment was still using internet and would probably want to switch theirs too. Okay, whatever, I said because we can just use theirs until someone was able to get here. She said they are swamped because of all the demands from students. Then she told me that there would be a $20 fee for switching. I then snapped.

I told her how my bill was too high, how you can get 4 meg service (we get 3) in Michigan from rival Comcast for $30 a month, how they had raised my rate, how my boss paid $10 less. She had not much to say and said she couldn’t adjust the rates because they negotiate the rate with the city. I told her that that meant she COULD change my rate because they are simply charging whatever they can to make a profit. She didn’t understand that. I told her it was getting difficult for me to stay with Charter and on top of that she wants to charge me to switch apartments. She finally caved and said she would wave the fee but she “would probably get in trouble.” She also told me that she isn’t in charge of the rates. I told her that I understood that, but that she represents the company and if she didn’t want to do that she should get a different job. She then asked if she could put me on hold.

After ten minutes of listening to Charter advertisements, Cindy told me she had “located” a supervisor. She transferred me to him. I then got to explain the situation once again to Brian. He was helpful in that he explained he knew nothing and basically had no power whatsoever. He offered to have someone even higher up call me back in 10 minutes. I said that would be an excellent option.

Erin then called me saying she had gotten the order from Brian whom she called her supervisor. Erin listened to my tale of woe and tried to explain to me why my rate was what it was. She also said she could NOT waive my transfer fee, which Cindy claimed she could. I was about to get upset when Cindy told me that she would be able to reduce my rate to $30 a month for 6 months. I repeated what she said and told her if she could do that I would not mention the transfer fee again.

So our new rate, after modem rental and taxes is around $34 a month – pretty good, I’ll say. In six months, I will have to call and complain when they raise it again, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. My next complaint, however, is that they can’t transfer our service until the 25th!! I get back from a trip to my grandparent’s cottage on the 21st! 4 days with no internet in my apartment?! AUGH!

A notice was placed on our door last Friday by the apartment management people stating that starting today painters would be entering our apartment to clean up the walls, cover spots, and make things look nice with no charge to us. In order to accomodate their arrival, we were asked to remove everything from the walls, including furniture. In a normal student’s apartment, this may have been an easy task. Most college students decorate their apartments with dorm room style still in mind. They may tack a few posters on the wall or settle for some beer signs, but few will go the lengths that we have.

Anyone who has been to our apartment knows we are not ordinary. From the usual extreme tidiness to the clever furniture layout and careful placement of lamps, our apartment is a joy to be in. But what sets our apartment apart from others is our wide array of art gracing our barren, white walls. Indeed, I went to great lengths to gather the art that hangs here. Some choice photos carefully framed, a poster/chart of the presidents up until Johnson framed from my grandmother, a clock with a cat on it, a nice bulletin board, a French flag – these are all things that have made our apartment look alive.

A picture on the wall, no matter of what, will nearly always decorate an apartment or house. It expresses style, reflects personal choices, and helps to bring out other elements of design evident in the room. For example, my presidents poster goes very well with the ready-made art in other parts of the room, including my old industrial dials and my 8 mm projector. Hung art also helps to rein in white walls that can make an apartment feel overly expansive all while not making it feel larger. White walls untouched make a person feel trapped and alone at the same time. Pictures warm the space, draw the room closer while letting it expand as well.

So with all the art off the walls, I walk around our apartment feeling empty. I don’t really want to be in the living room, even the surround sound speakers are down. The white walls make the apartment boring; I now live in a mundane space. Though my room was largely decorated with nice posters Dan had, even they lent an air of classiness, now sorely missed. I hardly know what to do anymore.

Woodie assured me that this is always how the last week of living in an apartment is. He said not to worry because everyone was going though the same thing. I took solace in his words, but at the same time realized that no other college apartment, perhaps ever, has been as nicely decorated as ours. So while others have no doubt mourned the loss of their art, I doubt they could have felt the loss as deep as I feel it. Call me overly-dramatic if you wish, I will not argue. Rather I will ask you to come to our apartment and see for yourself the emptiness that surrounds it. Though moving will be difficult and tiring, at least I can look forward to hanging pictures again. My apartment was my home but not anymore. I’m looking forward to a new home again.

Yesterday, Dan and I went to Qdoba using a coupon for a free burrito with purchase of another (good with a Marcus movie ticket stub). When we got back, we decided to finally watch the movie “The Notebook,” which Dan and rented a week ago or so. It’s a standard romantic movie. Two people meet, fall in love, are seperated, and reunite. That story is told within a frame narrative of an older man reading to an older woman, and the two stories gradually merge. The movie is written beautifully and the dialogue is extrememly realistic. The two main characters are also beautifully played, especially Allie played by Rachel McAdams, an incredibly beautiful woman (I mean, WOW). Woodie had strongly recommended this film, and Dan and I both really enjoyed it. I hghly suggest that you see it.

Nevertheless, it is a romantic movie. And there were Dan and I sitting and watching it, all alone, lights off. It didn’t seem strange, and I trust you know me better than to think this post will actually be about homosexuality or something. Rather, as I was watching this movie, I realized that Dan and I should have been watching the movie with WOMEN. We should have had our arms wrapped around our girlfriends, enjoying young love and memories of love past. Instead, we had to watch the movie alone together.

I think the story of Dan and I watching the movie is a good one, and I expect to relate it to other people. So if I tell it to a woman, I wonder what she would say. The reaction I would enjoy most would be one of darling, in which she would end up thinking higher of both Dan and I because of our willingness to watch a so-called “chick-flick.” But I imagine that some women would think Dan and I were less than manly for sitting through such a film. Not knowing what to expect perhaps just reveals how little I know about women. Where are the women that would have the former reaction? Where are the ones who would realize that Dan and I are good men who are willing to give our hearts, to love, to celebrate feelings, to communicate and talk about what goes on inside? Not in college, at least in my experience. Maybe senior year will bring about something to change that thought, or perhaps I will have to wait until the next step before finding someone who can prove my thought wrong. Let’s hope it doesn’t take too long. I miss having a girlfriend.

I recently learned (last night around midnight) that my aunt Sue, sister to my dad, is pregnant. She and her husband Bob annouced this at a birthday party for my grandma, which I could not attend because of the Apple event described in the previous post. Sue already has 2 other kids, Sara (13 in September) and Jenny (11 in November). She was born in April of 1961, which makes her 44 years old.

There are some interesting issues around this pregnancy. First off, I do believe this pregnancy was unintentional. I would be very surprised if my aunt and uncle wanted to have another child after 11 years since their last one was born. Their house is also small for their family (three bedroom, one extremely small). They had been thinking about remodeling, but money was too tight. My aunt works at the YMCA and hadn’t been happy with her job, but I believe they needed the money. Now it seems likely (to me, at least) that she may quit. Their situation just doesn’t seem to fit with wanting a pregnancy.

Second, my aunt is getting up there in age. We all know that with advancing age, a woman’s eggs have more chance of mutating such that the woman has an increased risk of giving birth to a child with serious birth defects. A woman above 40 also has increased risk of miscarriage or infant death after birth. She also has a greater chance of giving birth to multiples.

Because of these two issues, I worry about my aunt and family. I do not want to see them go through the pain of losing a child, nor do I want them to have to deal with birth defects that will affect all of their lives. Perhaps it is selfish to suggest that a child with birth defects cannot be enjoyed or loved; to believe that is false, but such an occurence would put a great deal of stress on the family.

The issue of death or birth defects I believe is the largest, but I also worry about money issues. They live in a small house and don’t seem to have a lot of money. I may be incorrect in this, and they may simply be extremely fiscally conservative and indeed be saving a lot of their earnings. My uncle Bob is an asset manager for wealthy people so it seems like he could be pulling in a large salary. Nevertheless, I worry.

My third worry is probably the one that will stay on my mind the most; I worry about how my cousins will react to a new addition to the family. Sara and Jenny were interesting kids growing up. They were really bratty until around the time that Sara turned 10. Then suddenly they were both great. They look up to me a lot, I think, and really enjoy spending time with me. They are also both very mature. Indeed, we exchange e-mails regularly, which means they can both type, spell, formulate sentences and paragraphs and really interact. It’s very impressive. I don’t know how they are going to take a new addition to the family, however.

There will be some excitement for sure, but Sara especially is at a delicate age. She is in middle school and will be going into 7th grade. Middle school is a tough time for everyone, but with a mother soon to be involved with a baby, it may leave Sara no one to talk to. She may feel outcasted from her family and peers, as people often do in middle school, but have no one to reel her back in. Jenny has always been extremely helpful, which will be a blessing when there is something needing help like a new baby, but Sara is not this way. I fear that that may be another outcasting factor for Sara.

I guess there is plenty of time for the issues to be sorted out. I am sure my aunt won’t give birth for at least another 6 months, though early deliveries are more common in woman above 40, so who knows. I will hope that their family sits down and has a good discussion about what things will be like with a new baby around. I also e-mailed both my cousins today asking them how they felt about everything. If they need someone to talk to who isn’t a parent, but is more adult than their friends, I hope they can turn to me.

Today I had an Apple event over at Monona Terrace, a convention center here in Madison. I wish I could tell you what the event was, but I was not given much information at all. It was a conference for people in higher education about using technology in the classroom. Apple was there to talk about Podcasting. I arrived at 3:55 and my boss Bob and Apple Higher Ed guy from Chicago Jason arrived a little after 4. We started getting set up. Evan arrived around 4:30. We got all set up, and at 5:00, the room suddenly filled with people. All of a sudden there were 20 people around the Apple table asking lots of questions. I did my best to answer them and eventually things calmed down a bit. We were only the demo table; the actual presentation was going on a little bit away from us in one corner of the large room. I was able to talk to some very intelligent people well-versed in technology. It’s nice to use the word “gigabyte” and not be looked at like you are speaking another language. Overall, the event was a great success. I had a lot of in depth conversations with educators, and I felt like I was really able to connect with them and their uses of technology.

The event ended around 6:30 and we were packed up and ready to leave by 7. As usual, Bob wanted us to all head out to a place to eat. We settled on a restaurant called Bourbon Street out by Southtown. Bob apparently goes there a lot and knows a lot of people there too. I rode with Jason, and we had a nice talk about socialism. Upon arrival, we headed to the roof where a band was playing. Bob seemed to know the members of the band, even though they are less than half his age. There was no place to sit up there, so we had some drinks (beer for Jason, Bob, and Evan; Pepsi for me) and headed downstairs and inside to eat. The food was okay and the conversation pleasant. I mostly listened.

It was interesting having Evan around me when he was drinking. I’m so used to people drinking around me that it no longer bothers me, as it once did. He, however, was extrememly uncomfortable. Indeed, whenever the subject of drinking comes up, he is quick to state that he isn’t drinking to get drunk. He has said on at least two occasions, “Yah, I love to drink, but not that much.” What does that mean? Anyway, he seemed like he had to justify his consumption of beer, so he told me “This is all I’m going to have; then I’ll switch to soda like you.” And so that got me thinking – are drinkers just that uncomfortable around non-drinkers?

Okay, here’s my theory; tell me what you think. Drinking is a way of relieving anxiety. It’s relaxing, makes you forget your troubles, let’s you calm down and have a good time like you want to. However, there’s a feeling accompanied with this that makes you think – hey, using a drug to relax really isn’t cool. Therefore, when someone who isn’t drinking is around, you suddenly realize that they aren’t abusing drugs like you are. This causes you to A) attempt to pressure them to drink and B) feel guilty about your own drinking. Undoubtedly that is a very simplified version of the actual mental process, but it is based on a lot of observations over a lot of years. For example, Levi constantly asking me if I wanted something to drink when I was at his party that Anthony DJed. NO and fuck you! Evan trying to make it seem like he drinks very responsibly so it’s okay, as if I would judge him or something. I DON’T CARE!

So if that is true, think about this. Non-drinkers are subjected to a world in which we are the minority. Only 25% of people of age in America do not drink. That’s not a lot. And we constantly have to adapt. We have to be in situations where we see friends drink and become different people. Social events often center around the consumption of alcohol. But we get used to it. And in the end, we are usually completely cool with people getting drunk around us. It made me uncomfortable for a while, but now I don’t care. So why can’t drinkers make the same adjustments? Props to Woodie and Dan for encouraging Anthony and I not to drink. As Dan said, “I would be disappointed if I did see you guys drink.” Thanks for that support, guys. For the rest of the drinkers out there, I guess you must really have a problem if you can’t face your own dependence so much that everyone else must be drinking or you feel guilty having even a glass of beer. It’s not my problem what you do to your body; it’s yours.

The day that many thought would never come has finally arrived. Thursday, August 3, 2005. Ahhh… actually, it’s an event that I mean, rather than day per se, though the day is important, though this was announced yesterday, I think. ANYWAY, Apple has finally decided to put out a two button mouse!! That’s right, two buttons! Unbelieveable. And scrolling and stuff.

Called the “Mighty Mouse,” this new mouse truly is mighty, for Apple. In reality, it’s not much different than any other two button (or more) mice on the market. In fact, it just matches Apple’s style and doesn’t offer much more. Sure, there are some side buttons that you can program to do certain things. And the scroll option is a ball so you can scroll in any direction, which is pretty cool especially if working on a large image or something. And the mouse does match the other Mac mice.

But it costs $50, which is a lot to shell out for a mouse, especially when Apple is already compatible with nearly every other mouse on the market. If I wanted a two button mouse, I would have bought one a long time ago. I expect this mouse will sell well, but seriously, who cares? If you needed a two button mouse on your Mac, you already have one. If you don’t care, then you don’t have one.

Here’s a picture of the little guy.

So whatever. Working on my aunt’s house was back to usual today. I sanded and got very dusty. An unfortunate thunderstorm kept me inside until ten. Last Sunday, I unloaded my kayak at my aunt’s house and knocked my passenger’s side mirror off. Duct tape is not strong enough to hold it on, so it hangs by duct tape. It’s wires are still intact, so I need to do something about. I think some strong glue might be the answer, but I need professional advice and assistance. Megan called me today and said her mom got a new kitten to replace her cat Mickey who passed away a couple weeks ago. Tomorrow I have an Apple event from 4 until 7 or so. It could be fun. I also need to take Dan to Westtown Mall where he will be doing temp. work at the new Express Men’s store opening there. Woodie will also be doing that work, though he will begin working there for real when they open, whereas Dan will not. That’s all the news from here tonight.